Chicken Skin and the Butt Issue

Being a baby boomer is far more difficult than it looks.  It would be much easier to live in the past and to only see ourselves in our mind's eye.  I would still be short, thin and have long dark hair.  Well, I'm still short. I have never had the right attributes for the current decade.

In my teens I had curves.  Curves were not popular in the 1960's.  Twiggy was popular in the 60s.  I squeezed my 5'3" 110 lb body and  butt into the tightest, thickest rubber, (no latex) long legged girdle I could find.  Pantyhose were not invented yet.  We wore those single issue nylons in 7th grade with those impossible to get into devices of torture. I wore my sweaters long enough to cover my butt.  How much butt could there have been?  My 90 lb. girlfriends said I had a "bubble butt".  I was mortified so for 30 years, I hid it.  Then Jennifer Lopez came along.  After her, the sisters of  big butt fame and now,  it is good to have a butt.  The problem is, now, mine is gone... and the little fact that at this age, if it were still here, it would absolutely be dragging the ground behind me.  See, bad timing.

I was blessed with my grandmother's skin on my face.  Just to clarify.  She used Ponds Cold Cream and Witch Hazel (kept in the frig) for decades.  I usually forgot to use any lotion or cream until I was about 40. Then I did and do when I remember.  I don't have any wrinkles around my eyes or lips.  It is all genetics.  I take no credit for that.  What I do have though is chicken skin on my hands and arms.  When did that happen?  I was reading one day, holding a book while lying in bed and saw the skin pucker on my hands.  Crap!     I sat up, dropped that book and grabbed the tiny Estee Lauder gift size jar on my bedside table and rubbed that stuff in faster than #*@&.   It didn't work.  Daughter # 3  is 26.  She likes to pinch that skin and see how long it takes to bounce back.  She's a sick person.

I have worn glasses for most of my life.  People my age usually do.  I came to terms with being blind as a bat by the time I was 12.   I didn't realize how blind until last week.  This is something my Dear Husband said I shouldn't share at all, but, what the heck.  I'm among friends.  Right?  I have a razor in the shower and one by the sink.  If I miss a spot shaving in the shower, I'll catch it at the sink afterwards.  Lately, I've been missing a lot.   Then, one night I got in the shower, grabbed the razor and heard a small "clink"  by the drain.  It was the cover from the razor.  I had never removed it.  Been shaving with it on.  Oops.  I can not be alone in this kind of thing.  Please tell me I'm not.