Happy Birthday to My Baby Girl

She may be 27 on February 12th, but she will  always be my baby girl and Daughter #3.  She was born on February 12th, but we came home from the hospital on Valentine's Day.  She was my best Valentine ever!

From the moment she could talk this child has kept us in stitches with her crazy since of humor.  Here, she's shell hunting and came upon a jellyfish.

When big sister Rachel was a little worried about spending the night with a girlfriend, Allison volunteered to go with her.   The other Mom was fine with that. They often did, and still do things as a team. 

All together, Me,  Sarah, Daughter #1, my Mom and Rachel and Allison about 1998

At 18, she( the laundry lady)  worked at the Michigan Renaissance Festival with this thief and wench.

After high school and deciding college wasn't for her, she took off on a great adventure.  The little girl that was not afraid to leave home, left Michigan, at 20, for the Teton Mountains of Wyoming.

She spent 4 years traveling back and forth for the "resort" season, but the year she got this photo, she had worked through the winter and experienced all 600 inches of snow.

Allie under the antler arch in Jackson, Wy. She had been home since October for the winter, and then got an offer for a year around position at the Lodge.  Terry drove out with her so she wouldn't have to go alone and then he flew back.  When the season was over and she was missing her family, Rachel flew out and drove home with her.  Little did I know she would then drive it alone the next year.  (That's just not good on a mother's nerves.)

After she left the mountains in the west, she lived with us a while in North Carolina and worked in a restaurant on  the ocean.  Not even the Marines playing volleyball on the beach  could keep her there.

Now she's back in Michigan,working and  sharing a home with Rachel and Tuc.   She inherited one of my traits and that is, we adopt people.  I know of one Christmas, right before she left in April for Wyoming, she was working at a Daycare.  One of the single moms lost her job the week before Christmas.  Allison took her entire check and bought Christmas presents for the 3 children because the Mom had no money.    Allie will go out of her way and inconvenience herself, before she would let down a friend. 

For the girl who's not afraid to wander......

Happy Birthday Allie.... I miss you.

Happy Birthday Daughter Dear

This is Birthday season for my daughters.  There's one more in February and then they will all be done. They get all the adulation and gifts in a few weeks time and then it is a long dry spell for them

January 25th is Daughter #2's Birthday.

Rachel was born when her big sister was 9 years old.  I was thrilled to have another little girl to dress in frills and ribbons.  A another daughter to put her hair in curls and to dress like did my Barbies.

I could dress both the younger girls (Allison is the February Birthday) in their "tourist outfits" (their term for these matchy-matchy things.  I thought they were cute.)  and perm their hair, which now they question my judgement on that bit of fashion as well.  I thought they were cute.  I don't know why they stopped letting me dress them.

But as the years marched by, I learned this daughter was not a frilly kind of girl.

This daughter is a dead serious sports fan that had her own style.  She is our University of Michigan grad and is the one on the other end of Terry's phone on Michigan game days yelling "Go Blue!" among other chioice words, at times.

She's the one that has happened to be available to share concerts,

and cruises.

Now we have to share her with Tacuma (Tuc).  I've said he is a very brave man.  He shares a townhouse with two sisters and he joined us in Washington DC this past May.  We had a wonderful time getting to know him more. Then this past Christmas, Terry and I were guests in their home, for the holidays.   With them in Michigan and us in North Carolina, we don't see each other other, but when we do, there's a lot of "togetherness" in a small period of time.

Rachel is busy working on her Masters program and working full time.

So Happy Birthday Daughter Dear.  I know you will have a marvelsous day!

Happy Birthday Daughter # 1

Happy January 8th  Birthday Girl

This daughter is having a 30 something birthday.  I've told her she still has a few good years left and that I actually liked my 40s.  (No, she's not there yet.)  

I was divorced when she was 2 and remarried the day after she turned 8.  She was in my wedding, (which I will share)

    And I was at her wedding as well.   Now she has 2 little boys that are quickly becoming big boys.
 

I looked for a more current one but this girl hides from the camera as much as I do .   I may have aged but she hasn't.  I wish she would share that secret with her mother.    Have a beautiful day with your family.  I love you.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

One in four women suffer some form of Domestic Violence.  Look at your loved ones.  If it is you, tell someone.  Nearly every town has a Domestic Violence Hot line.   Love doesn't hurt.  Love doesn't make you cry.

 I was able to escape a 9 year violent relationship and marriage, solely to protect oldest daughter when she was 2 years old. I didn't realize I was worth saving too.   For me,coming to terms with physical violence was faster than getting past the verbal abuse.   It's all possible with support. 

 Don't give up on your mother, daughter, sister, friend.  Everyone has their own limit.  Some never find the inner strength.  They need you even more.

Games of Our Childhood

My youngest grandson will be 9 next week.  We share the same birthday so, when I lived close, we shared theme parties of Winnie the Pooh, Dora & Diago, and Spiderman.  Terry has been having an email discussion about Birthday presents with his Mom.  She had mentioned that because baseball play offs were again that night,  our 10 year old grandson had run 27 laps, out side,  around the house in hopes it would make him run faster for his game.  They won, so I guess it worked.  The final game is tonight.

It gets more and more difficult to buy "things" for the boys.  They have all the games out now.  They each have a Nintendo DS and a bunch of games, Rock Band lives in the family room along with the Wii..  One has a real guitar and the other has drums.  They have the outdoor toys.  Powerwing scooters, bikes, snowboards, skate boards,   a full  cemented basketball court in their backyard.

What's a Nana to do?  I used to buy them matching clothes but I promised myself I had to stop doing that when they turned 10, which, one did in April.  (But they looked sooo cute in them.)

This was when they were 4 and 5.  Pa  makes sure they have been wearing University of Michigan apparel since birth. 
Now, too, I have to mail everything so I have to consider that.  So, it is becoming Gift Card time.  The 10 year old reader, Birthday boy, got Barnes & Noble.  Mom suggested the next be Target.  I'm not thrilled with gift cards, but I'm kind of stuck.

 I don't remember getting big birthday presents or any presents, but I'm sure I did.  I don't remember having Birthday celebrations.  Or even a cake, but, I must have.  I remember as a teen making my own cake.  At 9 and 10, I think I was still playing Candyland and later progressed to Life.   We never owned  Life.  I remember wanting it, but you just didn't go out and buy a game "for no reason".  Money was tight.  I played jacks,  jumped rope and collected marbles.  I did get my Barbie for Christmas when I was 10 and I still have her.   She is missing a pinkie finger because I let Daughter  # 1 play with her when she was little and teething evidently.

I remember getting Daughter #1 an Etch-a-Sketch for a Birthay or Christmas present at 7 years old.  She turned it around and over and finally asked, "How do you turn it on?"  I laughed because, funny as that is , she had one of the first hand held video games, that I'm aware of.  "Safari"  It was very basic.  3 skill levels of capture an animal in a cage.  slow - medium - fast.  That's it. 

 My daughter's childhood gifts ran the gamut of boom boxes, Cabbage Patch dolls, TVs for their bedrooms, VCRs and Cd players.  These were the first electronic children.  I know Daughter #2 had to have a Scientific Calculator in high school.  That thing was over $100.00 then, in 2000, and  probably $9.99 now. 

Makes me wonder what's next.

Some Spirits Can't be Contained

I don't say too much about my daughters.  I try to respect their privacy.  They didn't sign up to have a Mom tell their stories for them.  I have to smile right there because it was common for my mother to tell things to people about my sister and I, not so much my brother, that we didn't know.  Sometimes she didn't even know the people!  So I try not to do that.

I will share a bit about Daughter # 3 because, in some ways, she is just like me and in one very special way she is not.  That girl is the most adventuresome young lady I know. I was not all.   Right now she is 26,  working and sharing a townhouse with Daughter #2  and #2's boyfriend. 

When she was barely 20, she had tried college and found it was not for her, but didn't really know what she wanted in life.  There were no jobs in Michigan so she got on the computer, job hunting in other states.  For me, that was very scary.  For her, exciting.  In a few days, I mean under a week, she had applied and been hired to work at a resort (Signal Mountain Lodge) in the Grand Teton National Park, near Jackson, Wyoming. 

They hire about 180 employees just for the April - October season.Then they close to the public.   The employees live in dorms, eat in the EDR (employee dining room) and work.  She was hired as a hostess.  There are 2 restaurants and a bar.

Airfare was outrageous.  Over $500.00 one way.  So, she took the train.  I think it was two days, but it might have been three.  She was scared and excited and on her way to Hogwarts, she said.  So we took her to the train station and waited until we saw her board to leave.   Her Dad shed more than one tear when he hugged her goodbye. 

                                      ( A Jackson Hole Google photo.... Thank you Google)

She worked at various jobs, always getting promotions to something better, for 4 years. One season she was hired in the Human Resources Department that works year around so she was was one of about 15 that stay through the winter.  600 inches of snow to shovel is a lot.  ( Once they did hire a guy from Louisiana to come be a shoveler. Think about that culture shock.)

This was the view of Jackson Lake from her office.   We were able to go out once together and one time Terry drove out in the winter with her after Christmas and flew home.

Some of the cottages are very rustic like this one.... which I will admit would be a little too roughing it for me.  Others, like the one we had,  are more modern.

Being in a National Park, the animals all roam free.  People, these are wild creatures. Get in your cars. 

We saw Elk, bear, moose and bison along with pronghorns crossing the roads, on the sides of the roads, and walking down the middle of the road.

 

Dan showing Terry how to pan for gold.

She still swears it is the best place ever to work.  Most of the employees float from one resort to another with the seasons.  There are boyfriend/girlfriend couples and singles like herself.  There are retired couples and people of all ages.  Her last season out she had a roommate that was my age. 

The staff are treated to theme parties, cookouts, camping, and the use of all the resort facilities.  She went in a young woman without a mission and came out an adult with goals. 

I highly recommend it as a parent that was a little afraid of  her daughter venturing out on her own.  I live in a Marine town.  I know our young people are doing far more dangerous things and God bless them .  ( Welcome home from Afghanistan to my nephew Adam.)  

This was another way to grow up for a girl that wanted to stretch her wings.

Dixie Chicks "Wide Open Spaces"  is my ringtone for her.......

Washington D.C. Memories

On Thursday morning we will be leaving very early to drive to Washington D.C. to meet our 2 younger Michigan daughters.  ( And Daughter # 2's boyfriend)  It is a much shorter drive for us, about 6 hours versus their 12, so we will take in some sights along the way.   Right now it looks like Fredricksburg, Va. going and then Richmond, Va. on the way back home.  I am a history nut so all this Civil War stuff is plentiful here in the south.

I just realized as I started writing this, that the first time we took the girls, they were 6 and 8.  Today they are 26 and 28. 

This is Terry trying to explain the Vietnam Memorial to 2 little girls.  Sadly they would grow up with their friends fighting their own war. 

When were were there, years later, there was an exhibit in The American History Museum of all the things left at The Wall.  Packs of cigarettes, a battered Army helmet, a bottle of Jack Daniels, a can of Budweiser beer, a yellowed snapshot of a teenage boy in uniform, standing with his buddy, in a jungle
This photos shows Terry looking at The Wall offerings from these years. Everyone  of those things has it's own story to tell. 

Vietnam strongly influenced the music I was listening to.  From Country Joe and the Fish's famous song sung at Woodstock " Fixin to Die"  rag  to  John Lennen's "Imagine".  My personal experience was a navy blue t-shirt with an American flag printed in the shape of a dove on the chest that said "Let It Be".
I wore it to death.  Most of the dove print had cracked and flaked off.  I loved that shirt.

This is an excerpt from  "Fixin to Die"  by Country Joe and the Fish.         I won't post the YouTube video because there is a "naughty" word in it that I will admit, I  sang loud and proud, back in the day.
                                            
Yeah, come on all of you, big strong men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He's got himself in a terrible jam
Way down yonder in Vietnam
So put down your books and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

So that is one of my many Vietnam memories triggered by our upcoming trip to Washington D.C.  I'm sure there will be other memories popping up as the days go by.

I Think I Fixed It.

Hallelujah!  I changed a setting for comments to have the pop up window.  That seems to have worked.  Such an easy thing for most people took me 4 days to figure out.  I never did like story problems and this seemed to take on that life.  If you start with X and end with 0, then what's the answer? Anything with more than 2 steps, I'm lost.  No, no, no....That gives me a headache.  Hopefully it's good and I can get all the comments.  We all know it's nice to get a little feedback once in awhile. 

I'm making these "hope it works" posts short so I thought I would share one of my favorite photos of my middle child with one of my LARC  friend's daughter. We were pregnant at the same time at the same office.

Mine is the short one and now she is taller than the blond.  Aren't they just precious when we can dress them?
I still try but I am not as successful as in the past.  All of my girls learned from my mother, that the more you try on, the more we buy.  We won't talk about the hair styles I thought looked good on them.  ( The perms were cute.  I don't understand the objections.)

The Little Blue Dress That Wouldn't Quit

I know this is a bit corny but maybe, if you're a Mom you will think it is "too cute" as well.

I bought this little Health Tex dress at Sears, as a single Mom, so very proud of her daughter starting Kindergarten in 1980.   5 years later, the "hand me ups" not downs, get passed on to my sister for her daughter.  We did not plan that she would wear that little blue dress for her first day of school, but she did.

By the time I learned my niece wore it, I had remarried and had two more daughters.  Their apparel future was then written.  I knew that dress was destined for greatness.  I know it did not shrink up.... these kindergarten girls were growing taller.

Daughter # 1, niece in the middle, back row is Daughter # 2 and in front of the fence, Daughter #3


After my younger daughter wore it, in 1991,  that dress was retired, to hang in the back of her closet. It hung there until 2009, when my niece's daughter started kindergarten. My sister drove it from Michigan to Nashville the summer before, to make sure she had it.  By then not even tights could cover the fact that it was too mini and it was missing it's belt.   It was with a sad heart ( OK, not her mother's who was not sold on this idea) that the dress missed it's first First Day of School in our family.  * Correction:  My sister just emailed me that her granddaughter, this little cutie, wears a unifrom to school so that's the reason the little blue dress didn't make it to school on her First Day.

It was 29 years old on it's last photo Op.  It's been to every young woman's graduation Open House hanging proudly by the usual display of childhood photos and the punch bowl.   Now it's time to retire.

I did send Health Tex an email about the little blue dress.  They didn't write back.  I guess they don't care about the life of just one little dress from their tons of children's clothing sold during those years.  You would think they would be proud of such an accomplishment.  Every time we saw it march out the door, we were.

Those 80's Ladies

I don't know what made me think of this song today but I did, so here it is.  It was released in 1987 and being 37 at the the time, I could relate to a lot of what this song is about.  I left off the entry and went straight to the main verses that rang true for so many of us.

   K.T. Oslin's  80's Ladies

We were the girls of the 50's.
Stoned rock and rollers in the 60's.
And more than our names got changed
As the 70's slipped on by.
Now we're 80's ladies.
There ain't been much these ladies ain't tried.

We've been educated.
We got liberated.
And had complicating matters with men.
Oh, we've said "I do"
And we've signed "I don't"
And we've sworn we'd never do that again.
Oh, we burned our bras,
And we burned our dinners
And we burned our candles at both ends.
And we've had some children
Who look just like the way we did back then.

Oh, but we're all grown up now.
All grown up,
But none of us could tell you quite how.

We were the girls of the 50's.
Stoned rock and rollers in the 60's.
Hunny, more than our names got changed,
As the 70's slipped on by.
Now we're 80's ladies.
There ain't been much these ladies ain't tried

I, too, had been born in the 50's, a rock and roller in the 60's and married, given birth to a daughter, and divorced in the 70's. 

Then I had two more daughters in the 80's so my life track separated from a lot of my old friends.  For my new friends though, my LARC (Life After Red Cross)  friends,  were doing the same thing. New marriages, younger husbands and new babies.  I think us 80's ladies took a look around and decided we were doing things a little different than our Mom's did.  I had old classmates that, at forty, were empty nesters.  I was still taking a daughter to Kindergarten registration.

So flash forward to today and I can say my empty nest and I are still getting acquainted.  Daughter #3 left home for the Grand Teton State Park to work at a lodge as seasonal help when she was 20.  She would work 6 months and be home 6 months, when the lodge was closed.  That went on for 4 years.  Even this past year she had been back and worth between a Michigan sister and us, so the nest was refeathered periodically.  She is now happily working in Michigan, full time with real benefits.  Yay!

With the economy the way it is, there are a lot of young people not able to make it on their own, for any variety of reasons. I have close family members that graduated from colleges thinking they would go out and just "get a job".  They are working, but they are not making the money those degrees should generate and we are all glad they have that job.  This is not the world we had.  I look at my own daughters and wonder what song they will write.

 Daughter # 1 is 37 now  The same age I was then.  hmmmmm  I like to remind her of these things just so she knows that when she thought I was an old fart, I wasn't.   I was still that 60's rock and roller.

Just between you and I,  I am still waiting for 80's Big Hair to make a come back.

The Lights are Out

One of my favorite television programs came to an final end.  "Friday Night Lights" has been on for 5 years.  I have followed them from network to network and then, this last year they were only on Direct TV.  Terry was able to get a copy from someone for now we are watching the final season.  If you are not a fan,  "Friday Night Lights" is about small town,  high school football in Texas.

 Both Terry and I were lucky enough to attend small high schools.  Mine has a total of about 500 students in the entire school.  I'm not sure how many were in his, but it was very similar.  He played football in high school and then at a small, private university.  All three of our daughters went to the same school I did.  When your school community is that small, you know everybody.  Much like the television program, the town rallies behind the players, the school and the students. 

I think the die hard viewers, like myself, can relate to what was happening on the field and in the homes of this fictional town. In my own home, we agreed to have Daughter #1's best friend, in high school,  live with us.  She was 16 years old and both she and her brother had come from such screwed up, divorced,  parents that both were emancipated at 15.  This sweet young woman had lived with the football coach and  his wife for a year before coming to us.  The coach had grown children so she was a little lonely there.  Her brother was an all state football player himself and lived with another team mate and his family.

She was with us for a about 1 1/2 years before she went back to her Mom's house.  She was  the Homecoming Rep riding the convertible that year,  and on the Blueberry Festival Court.  Her dad came to drive the car she rode in.  Thanks Dad. He also gave her for a birthday, one year, one ticket to see Cher, at a venue 90 miles from us.  Once ticket.  Needless to say, she didn't go and no one would buy it.  Not one, single ticket. Her brother got a number of scholarships and is a coach himself now.  She also has a college degree and is doing well.  That small town team of ours had a 62 game winning streak while my girls were in school.  The signs that lined expressways from town to town cheered them on.  They were eventually beat in a non league game by a rivaling, neighbor, school on their field. That 12 mile ride home was a long one.

Then there is the Kenny Chesney song "Boys of Fall" song. I asked Terry if he was aware that the last game was, really the last one.  The last time he would put on that uniform.  The last tackle.  The last time he would walk off the field.  The last time unlacing those shoes. The last time he would hear the crowd cheer.  He said, "No, I just knew it was done.  I knew I wasn't big enough to keep going."  

Now my grandsons, ages 8 and 9 have put on that uniform.   I hope the whole town is behind them too.

Congratulations To Us.

My husband  (Terry)  and I had a whirlwind courtship (Who says that anymore?) and engagement, getting married in January 1982.  Last month we celebrated 29 years together.  And the 6 month before that....

We did everything you are not supposed to do to have a long and lasting marriage.

 1.   We met at work.  (Office romances never work.)

I was a 31 year old divorced Mom of a 7 year old daughter.  He was a single, 26 year old cutie.  I was 5 years out of an abusive marriage.  He had 2 girlfriends that lived 200 miles apart and, of course, did not know about each other.  I wasn't looking for a husband.  I was looking for some excitement.  He was 5 years younger than me.  Seriously... a baby.  He was a player.  He was obviously not looking for a wife.

We worked together for about a year before I asked him out.  Refer back to "I Am Woman- I can do anything...."  Our Birthdays are a week apart.  His July 9th and mine is July 16th so I asked him to come over to my house for a Birthday drink. (frozen, fresh strawberry daiquiris).  He did....where he proceeded to ask me about 500 job interview questions.  In addition to all the first date questions, he asked:  Do you make Christmas cookies?  Would you like to have more children?  I sat in one chair and he sat on the couch.  We drank a bottle of wine, asked and answered questions until it was almost dawn.

That weekend Daughter #1 and I were sharing a cabin "up north"  (only in Michigan is a compass setting a destination).  Terry called in a sick at work.  He joined us for 2 days.  He just jumped in. Met my daughter and my parents and had our first date in the same week.

  2.    2 weeks later, he proposed.  Within a month of our first date, I had engagement ring on my finger.

  3.    6 months later, on January 9th,  we were married.  We would have gotten married sooner but I wanted to  claim "Head of Household" one more year on my taxes.  Always the sensible one.

  4.   We had Daughter # 2 the next January 25th, just a couple of weeks after our 1st Anniversary. 2 years later we had Daughter # 3. 

From the beginning Terry sang this song to me.  If I could only get him to do the choreography too.

What do we say to our daughters about all of this?   We tell them don't you dare do what we did.  The chances of that working were slim.  We are incredibly lucky.